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"Can a dog die from consuming wrapping paper?"

I Wonder if She Understands the Severity of Coal in a Stocking

As I have said in an earlier post, Christmas time makes my dog evil. I don't know why but she has been acting horrible lately. Last night took the cake.

First; Beau grilled steaks and made a couscous salad and baked russet potatoes for dinner. My sister called as I finished eating so I went to the couch to speak to her while Beau finished at the table. The whole time I was on the phone I heard a fork moving on the plate so assumed Beau was just taking a really long time to eat. Once I got off the phone I called for Beau in the dining room....I got no response so yelled at him. This time he responded but from our bedroom. Mind you there was still a fork on plate sound in the dining room. I jumped up from the couch and ran into the dining room just in time to see the dog spring from the chair she was sitting in at the table. Both of our plates had been cleaned (we had both left steak, couscous and potatoes on our plates too). They looked as if I had just taken them out of the dishwasher.

Of course the perpetrator denied the whole thing but she was busted when I found steak sauce in her ear.

That's right, you are looking at A-1 in Mamie's ear. This picture was taken after Beau cleaned the large clump of steak sauce out of her ear. I only got the leftovers picture.

Next, Beau discovered that one of his shoe laces on his new tennis shoes had been chewed on. You need to know that Mamie has never chewed on anything in our house other than her toys so this was totally out of character.

Because I am a sick parent I recorded me shaming her. In the first few seconds you will be able to tell that our living room is a disaster so please do not judge me. I just hope that every one's house looks like this at Christmas time.

So I've made a deal with her; if she doesn't act like a heathen and embarrass us at Christmas, I won't drop her off on the front steps of the shelter at 7 A.M. on December 26.

More Decorations

I'm sorry that I'm so late updating (I'm sure that all five of you who read this blog have been unable to eat.) Christmas is a crazy time of year, that is for sure. I've got lots of things to update you on so I will start with more decorations.

Here is the front porch:

How cute is she? Who doesn't love a Christmas Hippo?

The dining room:

Christen: I think your parents gave us these candlesticks for a wedding gift. We love them!


I painted these last year:

Kinda dinky, kinda sweet.

I think that covers it! I need to capture the house with the lights at night. Beau insists that all the lights on the house blink. I hope we haven't caused our neighbors any seizures.

Proof that I have Christmas Decorations Up

This is not all of it but a glimpse. I will add more later.

The breakfast nook (featuring Mamie's kennel.)

This is our "random" tree in the living room. Every night we say to each other, "That really is a pretty tree." Growing up my family always had a random tree with homemade and mismatched ornaments which I disliked because I wanted to have a fancy, uniformed tree. Well look at what kind of tree I have in my home now and I would not have it any other way.

But I do have a smaller, more formal tree in the dining room:

Mamie particularly loves the tree skirt (she thinks it's her fancy bedazzled blanket) and lays on it while we eat dinner. Without fail she manages to knock the big ornaments off of the tree leaving Beau and me chasing after them as they roll across the hardwood. Darn that dog!

Be on the lookout for a 44 pound Beagle/Heeler on Craigslist

Apparently Christmas time makes dogs behave badly. This is what I caught her doing last night. Yes, that is my dog wearing a wreath like a tutu. I'm not sure how she managed it but it happened, nevertheless. Note how she is after the second victim. Maybe she was planning on wearing that one too, like a circus animal or something. I really think the wreath skirt was unintential on her part. I would be willing to bet that she was tossing it up for one of her ever-so-famous arial maulings and the wreath just so happened to land that way.

I wish the picture could additionally convey how she unwrapped presents as I wrapped them. She really got a kick out of pushing the rolls of wrapping paper with her nose . No amount of spankings deterred this activity. In my desperation I told her that it was a shame for her to make Baby Jesus cry on his birthday. She then literally yawned in my face. In fact, the only person the message got through to was Beau because I heard his voice yell from down the hall, "KENDALL! DID YOU JUST TELL MAMIE THAT SHE MADE BABY JESUS CRY ON HIS BIRTHDAY???!!!!"

Family Christmas Pictures

I'm really running behind on updating my blog. I have recipes and Christmas decor pictures to post but I left my camera at Courtney's so I'll have to post those later. I do have our family Christmas pictures which my good friend Meredith took right before Thanksgiving. I wanted to have some professional ones of us with our latest addition (the mutt). They turned out amazing. We could not be happier. Let this be a reminder that I have little, squinty eyes.

Modeling her Christmas sweater. Can you tell who loves the camera?

I'm a little partial but isn't my husband handsome?

That is the corpse of a squeaky toy over her foot.

My favorite!!! Is that not the cutest dog?!

Beau's parents also joined in and Mere got some really cute pictures of them too.

HaHa!

Apparently, I'm a Scrapper

Whenever someone thinks of me I guarantee a word that probably never comes to mind is "scrappy". My mom and husband might even go further by calling me a wimp. I learned on Black Friday that if needed, I can be a fighter.

For the past several years, BF Courtney and I have done the Black Friday thing. Last year, the other BF Irish joined us (practically against her will). This year we added Court's little sister, Ashton. As we add more shoppers our seriousness grows. Every year we get better and better deals. This year we were pretty hard core, mapping out our destinations days in advance and planning a strategy (who is going to drive, how many cars do we take, who will be on what team.) To prove our hardcoreness we started our venture at midnight. We racked up at Walmart and then broke into our teams: Irish and I headed to Target at 1:30 A.M. to get in line; Ashton and Court went to Toys R Us and planned to join us afterwards.

At Target we, like the rest of the world, were going after the 40" Westinghouse flat screens for $298. All four of us were going to go after one (actually Ashton didn't need a TV so she was going after one for my in-laws.) We knew the competition would be fierce so Irish and I wanted to get in line early. Of course it was freezing! To remember the event Irish took pictures with her phone.

She looked like a terrorist. I'm guessing that would be her van of explosives in the background.

And I looked like a turtle.


After a while the other two team members joined us. Courtney looked like Apolo Anton Ohno, minus the weird facial hair. Ashton was the only sane looking one of the group.

Because the hot items were scattered all around the store we were given a map. The TVs were in section B located in Maternity. Because nothing says "expecting a little bundle of joy" like a bunch of adults fighting over a television. Being the self-respecting young women that we are we agreed that regardless of what everyone around us did, we would not run and make fools of ourselves. Especially since the news crews had their cameras rolling to catch the madness. However, when the doors opened at 4 A.M. our plans were shot to pieces. People were running into the store as if they were being chased by a heard of lions. Although I did not run, I felt the need to walk faster that I ever had in my life to avoid being trampled. As much as I love Target, I do not want to die there.

Ahead of me were Ashton and Courtney who managed to get three TVs quickly (Court's, mine and my in-laws). Actually, a woman pushed Ashton over and she just happened to fall on top of the boxes. As soon as Ashton recovered she yelled at me to let me know that she had both of my TVs. That was a total relief because the scene around me was insane - people pushing, grabbing and screaming in efforts to secure a television. I have never witnessed anything like it. I would liken it to the first 15 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan".

As I tried to get around the craziness to meet up with Court and Ashton I looked up to see Irish in the middle of it all standing with her TV in hand. All of a sudden, a couple (who looked like they might have just taken a hit of meth on Thanksgiving instead of pecan pie like the rest of us) yanked the box from her. I went into Mommy Bird Mode and charged the couple, grabbed their arms and said, "Hey!! You just took that TV from her!" They were quick to inform me that the TV was theirs and then tried to get away. Irish and I grabbed the other end of the box and started to pull causing a tug of war match to ensue. We would have grabbed another one but there were none left so this TV was Irish's only chance. I kept yelling at the couple to let go, "Because we are leaving with the TV!" They just yelled back, "NO! It's Ours!!" So what did I do? I began peeling their fingers off of the box, one by one. Every time they re-established their grip, I went after the hands. Finally, they gave up leaving us disheveled but with the TV.

Actually, we all left Target with a TV. I also left with a little less dignity.