Because I Don't Do Scrapbooks...





Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Black Friday

For all four of you who follow my blog (including my mom) you are probably anxious to find out if my Black Friday experience was the same as last year's.  Here is the link to the story in case you are curious: 

http://thethorntonsar.blogspot.com/2010/11/apparently-im-scrapper.html

If you were hoping to hear that I got into an altercation over a Shark Steam Mop, you'll be disappointed.  This year was strangely calm but then again, we did not go for any major items.  Irish bailed on us but after the Black Friday Debacle of 2010, who can blame her? This year it was me, Court, Ashton and Ellen (Court's sisters) and Jill (Court's cousin). We made the usual rounds; Walmart, Target, Kohls, Belk, etc and pretty much got everything we wanted.


 It was Jill's first Black Friday so, of course, we had to capture us with our Walmart loot.

Beau called a few times during the night to check on me because he was so worried I was going to get shanked. He was more than relieved when I got home without cuts, bruises or a decent story.

I really wish I had a little more excitement to share about the trip but in this case, no news is good news!

I'll be posting pictures of our Christmas decorations soon!  I love this time of year!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

On the Streets They Call it "Survival"

Over the weekend we dog-sat for my friend Chassity.  Her dog, Rashad, is a sweet (yet ornery) Lab mix and a friend of Mamie's...that is as long as he doesn't stay at her house.  

The second we pulled up and Rashad got out of the car, Mamie went Cujo on him.  She didn't bite him but was determined to establish her authority (which she has never done with another dog.)  So for a while afterwards, Rashad was terrified of her even though he has at least 20 pounds on her.

 I think this picture pretty much sums the mood up as Rashad is trying to mind his Ps and Qs around Mamie and she's all, "Why is he still here?"


 This next one barely captures an act that we believe to be an intimidation tactic on Mamie's part where she pecks her "inferior" with her snout.  Seriously.  Just like a chicken.  She did it all weekend to him.


 She was also determined to keep Rashad off the furniture (note the above picture of Stonewall Jackson) which was ironic since she originally wasn't supposed to be allowed on it (I owe my husband for breaking that rule 48 hours in.)  When we went to sleep Rashad plopped down on his doggie bed beside the human bed (where Mamie sleeps) and she stood on the edge of the bed, over him, to stare him down.  If dogs could talk this would have been the dialogue:

Mamie: "Rashad, you can't get on this bed!"
Rashad:............
Mamie: "OK, Rashad???!!!"
Rashad:..........
Mamie: "RASHAAAAAD!!!! I mean it!  I know you want to get up here but you are not allowed!!!"
Rashad:.........

I am making Mamie out to be meaner than she really was.  She really likes Rashad and at times loved having him over but also felt very territorial. I really think a lot of her issue was that he is larger than she so she thought she needed overcompensate. 

The next morning I cleaned out the pantry thinking that my big helpers could assist.....

 I mean, pick up a broom or consolidate the popcorn packages to one box.... Ugh!

The rest of the day the kids managed to wear themselves out and Stonewall even gave in to Rashad...




 Chassity came later that night and took our guest on home and as much as Mamie enjoyed (at times) her company, she was glad to have her house (and mom) to herself the next day.


That evening at dinner Beau and I were joking about her treatment of Rashad.
Beau: "Mamie, you are such a bully!!"
Me: "On the streets (where she came from) they call it "Survival".


Monday, November 21, 2011

Happy Birthday Beauregard!

If he were to actually read this blog, he would want me to inform you that his name is not Beauregard; just plain Beau.  Thursday (his bday) we met Ryan (Beau's BFF), Ryan's wife, Beau's parents and my parents for dinner.

If you will notice, I had a death grip on his cake because if everything went to Hell, the only thing that would've mattered was that Beau got his blasted carrot cake.  This carrot cake will have to be a lifelong tradition.  It all started last year when I ordered one from a local Benton bakery, Just Leave it to Liz, thinking it would be a nice gesture.  Not only was it appreciated by the birthday boy but became his one demand.  Throughout the year he randomly reminded me that he wanted "that carrot cake" for his birthday.  Of course I ordered the cake from the same bakery weeks in advance and had the person taking the order over the phone informed that the cake fee had gone up from $40 to $250 and my first born I would have said, "I'll be in on the 17th to pick the cake up."  

On Thursday he called me at work and the following conversation took place:

Beau: "When are you picking the cake up?"
Me: "5-ish"
Beau: "And you're taking it to the restaurant for everyone to eat?"
Me: "Yes."
Beau: "Do you think you could just forget to take it to the restaurant?"
Me: "I've told everyone about this dang carrot cake, Beau!"
Beau: "Maybe you could just pick one up from the grocery store and let them think it's that cake..."
Me: "I have to go."


The good news is he went home with plenty of leftover cake and as of last night, there was at least eight slices left.  I just hope everyone at dinner was not on to his ulterior motive when he insisted we all get appetizers before the food arrived.

We had a great time and at dinner I managed to only embarrass myself once when I was talking about how much I hate picking out cards for Beau because I sooo don't do the whole "Happy Birthday to the love of my life, my soul-mate" garbage.  Literally, the card he received from me this year had a bear on the cover and the inside message was something along the lines of, "Happy Birthday.  I love you beary much".  His Valentines Day card said, "I love you more than a kid loves recess."  Well, my story was funny for about 10 seconds until Beau opened his card from my parents that read, "Happy Birthday to the son-in-law we prayed for before we even knew your name."

Thanks, Mother.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Oregon

 In September (It's so incredibly sad I'm just getting to this) I had the amazing opportunity to go to the Oregon Coast for the (get ready for this) National Association of State Directors of Veterans Affairs conference. My boss was elected president of the association and as his public affairs officer, I will help plan the next two conferences; February in D.C. and September in PUERTO RICO. It's in all caps becuase I get to go as well so I'm pumped about P.R.

I took lots of pictures because it was my first visit to the beautiful state.




The pictures started on the plane as we flew over Salt Lake City.


 This is Mount Hood as we flew into Portland.  How gorgeous is that? 

 From Portland we drove a couple hours to Lincoln City on the coast.  My hotel room overlooked the ocean.

 The first day the weather was damp and foggy.

 Here is a picture of the fog lifting.

 This is not an alien creature as I was first convinced.  Instead, it is some type of seaweed.  They call it a bullwhip.  I call it creepy.




The conference, itself, was great.  The best part was getting to meet all the people.  Most everyone there was former military and, of course, a male so I stuck out like a sore thumb.

 Because everyone was representing their state, you learn people by their state and even refer to them by that state so I was effectionally called, "Arkansas".  After a while, I felt like I was at the Miss America pageant so I began referring to the guys as "Miss Kentucky", "Miss Arizona", etc.  Luckily, they appreciate humor so I managed to not offend them.  Phew.



 One night we got to have dinner in the Evergreen and Aviation Space Museum


 
This is a section of the Berlin Wall they had on display.  

 There are two seperate buildings of the musuem and the one we were not in houses Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose.  Unfortuanatly, there was another event going on in the building so we were not allowed to go in.  However, since I was with a lot of former military guys, we found an open door and broke in.  I snapped this picture before we got busted.

 This is us getting kicked out.



We were banished to take photos outside through the glass.


I cannot express how large this plan was.  You should really Google it to appreciate it's size and the fact that it was able to get off the ground (not very far, though.)



I took some video with my camera because I could not get a picture of the whole thing since it was so large.




Because a lot of wives come with their husbands, the hosting state plans outings for them while the men are in meetings.  Becuase I have a great boss, he told me pick an outing to go on.  The one I chose was whale watching.  Having never been sea sick I thought it would be a great experience (note the foreshadowing). 

My first clue that things were not going to be very smooth was that upon us getting to the dock, we saw the Coast Guard was performing multiple rescues for small fishing boats that had capsized. The captain giving the tour almost canceled our trip but went ahead since we were all pretty insistant on going.

On the boat I paired up with Alaska who was from Wasilla and could have been Sarah Palin's voice twin.  She, like Ms. Palin, also hunts moose, ice fishes, etc.  In short, she is my husband's dream wife....  She was a pro at boating excursions so not wanting to miss any excitment I verbally declared, "I'm with Alaska!" and followed her to the front of the boat like an idiot.

Before we made it out of the harbor, two women had their faces in a bucket to which I mentally responded with, "Amatuers!  Can't hang with me and Alaska".  I literally thought I was hardcore up front with Palin.

The above picture of us leaving the harbor is the only known photo taken by me the whole trip....  Once we got out to sea our boat looked strangely like the one from "The Perfect Storm"  in the waves (so I embellish a little).  But for the first 45 minutes I did well up front.  However, with minute 46 came a strange feeling that prompted me to head to the back of the boat where more of the ladies were spending quality time with buckets.  I kept telling myself that I was NOT going to get sick so I was not comforted when Montana said, "Sweetie, you don't look very well. Do you want an Altoid?"  I never even made eyecontact with her but with eyes forward I nodded my head and held out of my hand.  After the fourth Altoid she ended up giving me the whole can.  Eventually my mint supply ran out and after I heard the woman loose her lunch behind me I was a goner.  Because I have too much pride to let anyone see my vomit in the bottom of a bucket I flew to the back of the boat and began "feeding the fish" as the Navy retirees said.

Once I got started, I could not stop.  If there is anything I hate it is throwing up so I was especially miserable being sea sick as there is no reprieve from the waves.  There was a deck hand who couldn't move fast enough passing out buckets, dumping them and hosing them out only for them to be "used" again.  For a few seconds I stopped throwing up and turned to him and said, "Sir, I'm not sure how much you get paid but I assure that it's not enough."  The next time I spoke to him I begged him "PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!"  His only response was to rub my back and say, "Ma'm, there is nothing I can do to make you feel better.  You're just going to have to keep throwing up."  I think that is the point when I started to cry. 

This is the part of the story when people like to ask, "Well did you see any whales?" to which I respond with, "Yeah, but I didn't care."  In fact, the whales we saw were fairly close to the shore but since the waters were so choppy the captain was afraid to go inland because we would be carried into the rocks so he kept his distance for us to see them from afar.  So the irony is that had we walked up the shore instead of getting on the boat, we would have seen the whales closer and not have all gotten sea sick.  I also would have a shorter blog post...

I should throw in that I was so miserable that at one point when I saw the Coast Guard overhead I literally had the following thought, "If I jump off this boat, they will rescue me and take me to dry land."   But then I realized how insane the idea was and that I would get really tired of being referred to as "That Girl at the NASDAV conference who was rescued by the Coast Guard after going overboard."

Eventually the captain decided to head back early since out of the 35 of us on the boat, only 4 were not sick (Including Alaska). 

Back at the conference I was harassed plently for my two hour bout of seasickness and given some made up award called "The Order of the Bucket" at the induction dinner.


Here is my boss (second one from left) being sworn in with the other association officers at that same dinner.

The conference was an amazing experience and needless to say, I learned that the only whale watching I plan on doing in the future is at Sea World.


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween 2011


 I cannot believe that another Halloween has come and gone.  What is even more crazy is the fact that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just weeks away.  Time sure does fly.

Here is our spooky front porch:

 I really have been unable to decide if it is great looking or hokey.  Maybe a little of both?



 Above is a little arrangement on our coffee table.  Unfortunately, it does not show the puppy nose marks from where Mamie has been sniffing the candy corn.  She successfully ate a quarter of one when I was filling the glasses and would have eaten it fully until I made a huge production about how she was going to "DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH!!".  And yes, the all caps is necessary because that's exactly how I said it.  Oh, and picture arms flailing to go with the screaming.


 And just in case you needed a picture of what the cutest little boys on the face of this earth looked like in their Halloween costumes here you go.  Hudson was Captain American and Carson was the Green Lantern.


And speaking of Halloween attire, Mamie got a new tee.  I cannot express how much she loves clothes.  When I brought the Mummy shirt home from Target and pulled it out of the bag she went nuts.  Beau thought I had purchased a ham bone or a kitten by the way she was behaving.  The above picture was taken while she was modeling the shirt throughout the house like Tyra Banks.



 Yesterday she was The Flying Pumpkin (I've capitalized it as if it were a real, proper noun.  Instead it's something I made up because she wore a jack-o-lantern tee and bat wings).  The bat wings didn't last very long as they were viewed as a direct threat to her safety.

 Because I secretly try to out-do my neighbors, I made treat bags again this year.  In addition to candy, kids got bubbles and tattoos.  I know their parents are cursing me by now.


 I haven't dressed up for Halloween since college (and no, I never dressed like a prostitute/pirate) but thought I would throw something together.  So with a scarf, button-up shirt and red lipstick I was a Rosie the Riveter.

 Rosie tried to get a picture with The Flying Pumpkin (sans wings at this point) but the mutt was not having it.



BF Irish joined us and wore glasses that made her look like Elton John.  She also took Mamie's wings and strapped them around her neck.  So here is Rosie the Riveter and The Flying Elton.


Our friends Ryan and Debbie also joined us last night.  The girls were the candy passer-outers including Mamie.  Mamie was banished inside a few times after she played a round of Bowling for Trick-or-Treaters.
 Here's a good closing post picture. Happy Halloween!!!