Because I Don't Do Scrapbooks...





Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Pre-Christmas Festivities

First "Quitters' Club" Meeting
I cannot take credit for naming the club, that honor goes to Chassity.  Some of us former Girl Scout employees got together for dinner and lots of laughs (mainly at the cost of Girl Scouts).  It was so much fun!  And yes, there is a lone man in the picture; David our former CFO whom we all adore.  Especially since he bought dinner.

Chassity and Me (I love this girl.)

I also love the above "Foxy Lady", Sara (who is in labor as I type).  Chass, Sara and I went to Walmart in search of a Santa shirt with no luck.  What he did find was these jewels.  Clearly being a Foxy Lady gets you pregnant, SARA!! 



Beau and I visited Garvan Gardens in Hot Springs to see their beautiful lights with Ryan and Debbie.







With Debbie


Another favorite stop of ours is the Saline County Courthouse where they have a beautiful display every year.


 Great from a far but when you walk around the courtyard, there are some creepy displays.

I think they are subconsciously telling children to shy away from careers in city/county government.

On to less creepy light displays:

 Me, Court, Irish, Anna Kate, and a friend of Court's and her daughter visited the beautiful trees and Gingerbread house at the Arlington.


The tree in the lobby




More pictures to come!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I Will Now Inflict Photos of My Christmas Decor on You










In case you're wondering what the glowing object is.....
 


You're welcome

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Chalkboard Craft

It's been a while since I have been crafty but the other afternoon I decided to let my inner Martha out.

 I took the above framed picture that I've had for years and have never used because it didn't go with my decor (my sister had used it in her office and passed it on to me).

So a little antique blue paint and chalkboard spray paint and voila!

 




 I (Beau) hung it above the kitchen sink because I've needed something there for almost two years. I think I like it there but may decide to move it. 

All together, the craft cost $3 (chalkboard paint) because I already had the blue paint and frame.
I think it turned out pretty well!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Oh Christmas Tree

We put the tree up last week!  This year I made burlap bows for the tree and added the cranberry sprigs to the top.


We took our Christmas card photo in front of the tree.

It may look odd with Beau standing and me on the ground but this is the only way we could wrangle the little terror.  As much as she loves having her picture taken, she loves the photographer even more; Ryan, Beau's BF.  Apparently, Ryan gives really good booty (really it's just above the tail) scratches.  No, I am not speaking from experience; just going on the look Mamie gives when he does it and the fact that the whole time he's over, she backs her end right up to him like, "You can scratch my booty now."

We tried to get a picture of us standing and Mamie in the chair but then she fell off of it (swear).  Then I tried to sit in the chair with her on the ground but I had to stay humped over trying to hold her so she wouldn't charge Ryan. I can't imagine what people with multiple children do at picture time.  Of course, most two year olds are better behaved than Mamie.

Also, I wish I would have realized that Beau was wearing tennis shoes before now.  Nike, feel free to pay me for the product placement. 

I'll be sure to take pictures of all the decorations around the house and post them later.

Merry Christmas!!




Saturday, December 3, 2011

Making Mom & Dad Proud Since 1984

The other day I was at an important meeting at the Memphis VA surrounded by several important/influential professionals (at least in my line of work). I was going to write something down for one of them so I reached in my purse for a pen and as I pulled it out, a Victoria's Secret free panty offer fell out from the purse onto the table in front of everyone. I'm sure you can imagine that on that offer was a picture of a scantily clad Swedish model. So what did I, Ms. Smooth, say, nay, announce in front of all those people?

"It's not porn! Just free underwear, I swear!!!!!"

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Black Friday

For all four of you who follow my blog (including my mom) you are probably anxious to find out if my Black Friday experience was the same as last year's.  Here is the link to the story in case you are curious: 

http://thethorntonsar.blogspot.com/2010/11/apparently-im-scrapper.html

If you were hoping to hear that I got into an altercation over a Shark Steam Mop, you'll be disappointed.  This year was strangely calm but then again, we did not go for any major items.  Irish bailed on us but after the Black Friday Debacle of 2010, who can blame her? This year it was me, Court, Ashton and Ellen (Court's sisters) and Jill (Court's cousin). We made the usual rounds; Walmart, Target, Kohls, Belk, etc and pretty much got everything we wanted.


 It was Jill's first Black Friday so, of course, we had to capture us with our Walmart loot.

Beau called a few times during the night to check on me because he was so worried I was going to get shanked. He was more than relieved when I got home without cuts, bruises or a decent story.

I really wish I had a little more excitement to share about the trip but in this case, no news is good news!

I'll be posting pictures of our Christmas decorations soon!  I love this time of year!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

On the Streets They Call it "Survival"

Over the weekend we dog-sat for my friend Chassity.  Her dog, Rashad, is a sweet (yet ornery) Lab mix and a friend of Mamie's...that is as long as he doesn't stay at her house.  

The second we pulled up and Rashad got out of the car, Mamie went Cujo on him.  She didn't bite him but was determined to establish her authority (which she has never done with another dog.)  So for a while afterwards, Rashad was terrified of her even though he has at least 20 pounds on her.

 I think this picture pretty much sums the mood up as Rashad is trying to mind his Ps and Qs around Mamie and she's all, "Why is he still here?"


 This next one barely captures an act that we believe to be an intimidation tactic on Mamie's part where she pecks her "inferior" with her snout.  Seriously.  Just like a chicken.  She did it all weekend to him.


 She was also determined to keep Rashad off the furniture (note the above picture of Stonewall Jackson) which was ironic since she originally wasn't supposed to be allowed on it (I owe my husband for breaking that rule 48 hours in.)  When we went to sleep Rashad plopped down on his doggie bed beside the human bed (where Mamie sleeps) and she stood on the edge of the bed, over him, to stare him down.  If dogs could talk this would have been the dialogue:

Mamie: "Rashad, you can't get on this bed!"
Rashad:............
Mamie: "OK, Rashad???!!!"
Rashad:..........
Mamie: "RASHAAAAAD!!!! I mean it!  I know you want to get up here but you are not allowed!!!"
Rashad:.........

I am making Mamie out to be meaner than she really was.  She really likes Rashad and at times loved having him over but also felt very territorial. I really think a lot of her issue was that he is larger than she so she thought she needed overcompensate. 

The next morning I cleaned out the pantry thinking that my big helpers could assist.....

 I mean, pick up a broom or consolidate the popcorn packages to one box.... Ugh!

The rest of the day the kids managed to wear themselves out and Stonewall even gave in to Rashad...




 Chassity came later that night and took our guest on home and as much as Mamie enjoyed (at times) her company, she was glad to have her house (and mom) to herself the next day.


That evening at dinner Beau and I were joking about her treatment of Rashad.
Beau: "Mamie, you are such a bully!!"
Me: "On the streets (where she came from) they call it "Survival".


Monday, November 21, 2011

Happy Birthday Beauregard!

If he were to actually read this blog, he would want me to inform you that his name is not Beauregard; just plain Beau.  Thursday (his bday) we met Ryan (Beau's BFF), Ryan's wife, Beau's parents and my parents for dinner.

If you will notice, I had a death grip on his cake because if everything went to Hell, the only thing that would've mattered was that Beau got his blasted carrot cake.  This carrot cake will have to be a lifelong tradition.  It all started last year when I ordered one from a local Benton bakery, Just Leave it to Liz, thinking it would be a nice gesture.  Not only was it appreciated by the birthday boy but became his one demand.  Throughout the year he randomly reminded me that he wanted "that carrot cake" for his birthday.  Of course I ordered the cake from the same bakery weeks in advance and had the person taking the order over the phone informed that the cake fee had gone up from $40 to $250 and my first born I would have said, "I'll be in on the 17th to pick the cake up."  

On Thursday he called me at work and the following conversation took place:

Beau: "When are you picking the cake up?"
Me: "5-ish"
Beau: "And you're taking it to the restaurant for everyone to eat?"
Me: "Yes."
Beau: "Do you think you could just forget to take it to the restaurant?"
Me: "I've told everyone about this dang carrot cake, Beau!"
Beau: "Maybe you could just pick one up from the grocery store and let them think it's that cake..."
Me: "I have to go."


The good news is he went home with plenty of leftover cake and as of last night, there was at least eight slices left.  I just hope everyone at dinner was not on to his ulterior motive when he insisted we all get appetizers before the food arrived.

We had a great time and at dinner I managed to only embarrass myself once when I was talking about how much I hate picking out cards for Beau because I sooo don't do the whole "Happy Birthday to the love of my life, my soul-mate" garbage.  Literally, the card he received from me this year had a bear on the cover and the inside message was something along the lines of, "Happy Birthday.  I love you beary much".  His Valentines Day card said, "I love you more than a kid loves recess."  Well, my story was funny for about 10 seconds until Beau opened his card from my parents that read, "Happy Birthday to the son-in-law we prayed for before we even knew your name."

Thanks, Mother.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Oregon

 In September (It's so incredibly sad I'm just getting to this) I had the amazing opportunity to go to the Oregon Coast for the (get ready for this) National Association of State Directors of Veterans Affairs conference. My boss was elected president of the association and as his public affairs officer, I will help plan the next two conferences; February in D.C. and September in PUERTO RICO. It's in all caps becuase I get to go as well so I'm pumped about P.R.

I took lots of pictures because it was my first visit to the beautiful state.




The pictures started on the plane as we flew over Salt Lake City.


 This is Mount Hood as we flew into Portland.  How gorgeous is that? 

 From Portland we drove a couple hours to Lincoln City on the coast.  My hotel room overlooked the ocean.

 The first day the weather was damp and foggy.

 Here is a picture of the fog lifting.

 This is not an alien creature as I was first convinced.  Instead, it is some type of seaweed.  They call it a bullwhip.  I call it creepy.




The conference, itself, was great.  The best part was getting to meet all the people.  Most everyone there was former military and, of course, a male so I stuck out like a sore thumb.

 Because everyone was representing their state, you learn people by their state and even refer to them by that state so I was effectionally called, "Arkansas".  After a while, I felt like I was at the Miss America pageant so I began referring to the guys as "Miss Kentucky", "Miss Arizona", etc.  Luckily, they appreciate humor so I managed to not offend them.  Phew.



 One night we got to have dinner in the Evergreen and Aviation Space Museum


 
This is a section of the Berlin Wall they had on display.  

 There are two seperate buildings of the musuem and the one we were not in houses Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose.  Unfortuanatly, there was another event going on in the building so we were not allowed to go in.  However, since I was with a lot of former military guys, we found an open door and broke in.  I snapped this picture before we got busted.

 This is us getting kicked out.



We were banished to take photos outside through the glass.


I cannot express how large this plan was.  You should really Google it to appreciate it's size and the fact that it was able to get off the ground (not very far, though.)



I took some video with my camera because I could not get a picture of the whole thing since it was so large.




Because a lot of wives come with their husbands, the hosting state plans outings for them while the men are in meetings.  Becuase I have a great boss, he told me pick an outing to go on.  The one I chose was whale watching.  Having never been sea sick I thought it would be a great experience (note the foreshadowing). 

My first clue that things were not going to be very smooth was that upon us getting to the dock, we saw the Coast Guard was performing multiple rescues for small fishing boats that had capsized. The captain giving the tour almost canceled our trip but went ahead since we were all pretty insistant on going.

On the boat I paired up with Alaska who was from Wasilla and could have been Sarah Palin's voice twin.  She, like Ms. Palin, also hunts moose, ice fishes, etc.  In short, she is my husband's dream wife....  She was a pro at boating excursions so not wanting to miss any excitment I verbally declared, "I'm with Alaska!" and followed her to the front of the boat like an idiot.

Before we made it out of the harbor, two women had their faces in a bucket to which I mentally responded with, "Amatuers!  Can't hang with me and Alaska".  I literally thought I was hardcore up front with Palin.

The above picture of us leaving the harbor is the only known photo taken by me the whole trip....  Once we got out to sea our boat looked strangely like the one from "The Perfect Storm"  in the waves (so I embellish a little).  But for the first 45 minutes I did well up front.  However, with minute 46 came a strange feeling that prompted me to head to the back of the boat where more of the ladies were spending quality time with buckets.  I kept telling myself that I was NOT going to get sick so I was not comforted when Montana said, "Sweetie, you don't look very well. Do you want an Altoid?"  I never even made eyecontact with her but with eyes forward I nodded my head and held out of my hand.  After the fourth Altoid she ended up giving me the whole can.  Eventually my mint supply ran out and after I heard the woman loose her lunch behind me I was a goner.  Because I have too much pride to let anyone see my vomit in the bottom of a bucket I flew to the back of the boat and began "feeding the fish" as the Navy retirees said.

Once I got started, I could not stop.  If there is anything I hate it is throwing up so I was especially miserable being sea sick as there is no reprieve from the waves.  There was a deck hand who couldn't move fast enough passing out buckets, dumping them and hosing them out only for them to be "used" again.  For a few seconds I stopped throwing up and turned to him and said, "Sir, I'm not sure how much you get paid but I assure that it's not enough."  The next time I spoke to him I begged him "PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!"  His only response was to rub my back and say, "Ma'm, there is nothing I can do to make you feel better.  You're just going to have to keep throwing up."  I think that is the point when I started to cry. 

This is the part of the story when people like to ask, "Well did you see any whales?" to which I respond with, "Yeah, but I didn't care."  In fact, the whales we saw were fairly close to the shore but since the waters were so choppy the captain was afraid to go inland because we would be carried into the rocks so he kept his distance for us to see them from afar.  So the irony is that had we walked up the shore instead of getting on the boat, we would have seen the whales closer and not have all gotten sea sick.  I also would have a shorter blog post...

I should throw in that I was so miserable that at one point when I saw the Coast Guard overhead I literally had the following thought, "If I jump off this boat, they will rescue me and take me to dry land."   But then I realized how insane the idea was and that I would get really tired of being referred to as "That Girl at the NASDAV conference who was rescued by the Coast Guard after going overboard."

Eventually the captain decided to head back early since out of the 35 of us on the boat, only 4 were not sick (Including Alaska). 

Back at the conference I was harassed plently for my two hour bout of seasickness and given some made up award called "The Order of the Bucket" at the induction dinner.


Here is my boss (second one from left) being sworn in with the other association officers at that same dinner.

The conference was an amazing experience and needless to say, I learned that the only whale watching I plan on doing in the future is at Sea World.